February 18, 2007; Thayer St

February 16-19 has finally commenced, it was the best days of my life...but certainly not the last.  Carlin and I speant our 3rd month anniversary together, our first one speant together PHYSICALLY!!!  3 months feels more like 3 years...and I am loving every moment with him, no matter what form or medium.  I feel as though our relationship solidified through this short meet, and I'm thankful that our families allowed us to.  Carlin, you are my everything; with you I can fly ^_^

Quick Recalls:
---February 16, 2006---
-Running late to T.F.Green caz dad wanted to visit Toni and his crazy dog at Univ.Heighs
-Traffic on 95S and dad missing the highway ex.junct.
-Carlin's refusal to jump at the airport for identification purposes
-First sight of my Lover-he peered into my window (NO LOOKIE!), so I jumped out and gave him our first hug
-Ride home and tour of the home...first kiss in hallway? I honestly don't remember, DAMN
-Pizza Puy and Movie Guy, and me needing to Pee >_<
-Providence Place/Golden Panda con YungJu
-3Second rule and pedestrian pwnage
-Watching Saw III
-No DDR caz Boo Boo was "tired"
-seeing his wahoo and #893749*7*#(@()* for first time
-Not being able to say goodnight
-Checking up on Carlin, who was sleeping in his clothes and without bed sheets, yay for spooning for first time!!!
---February 17, 2007---
-Showering, but not together :-(
-McDee Quickie, Visited Cheese, and Mackies con Heather
-Attleboro to Back Bay Train Ride (for freeeee)
-BOSTON con jealousy >_<
-Carlin lookin good in his white sweater thang
-Going to my spot and 30 sec. of woohoo
-sushi
-Grudge
-Carlin hits my wall lmaoaaooao
-falling asleep
-WEEEEEEEEEEE, checking up on Carlin again
---February 18, 2007---
-frosted flakes, Carlin hits head again on light, Uma see HICKEY haaha
-Friendlys
-Carlin drives home to pick up movies
-Drop off movies
-Providence Place Mall
-DOME
-Getting lost on way to Sun and Moon
-Korean food, and cute owners
-PWNAGE with chopsticks
-going in spot for first time...and other things ^_^
---February 19, 2007---
-Happy Anniversary
-Dad driving us to McDees and TfGreen..>Noooo
-Waiting in line, givenhis bag receipt
-Walk around for a bit
-:-( Bye Bye "I'll see you soon"-last words.

I missed a lot I KNOW.

Now, back to 1984.
God damn Insomnia...running on empty Vinni!

Tags: fuck yes
Current Mood: loved
Current Music: sattelite guster

God damn, it's about time I've recieved some form of clarity and hiatus from Pain/Hurt. My hope of a new day has been restored. Last night, my dad and I got into a severe fight again, resulting in my absence from home for the night and getting extremely high with KuJo Somewhere South off Interstate 95. It was definetely BOMB. We rocked out to Linkin' Park and swayed in between traffic, which was quite amuzing...tehe. I don't remember much other than ending up at the Sun and Moon Korean restaurant off I195...and then we headed back to Niagara too bond with our Newports and comensed an intense round of SPIT and Remmy/Rummy(w/e that shtuff is dubbed). Carlin went to a friends house, smoked' a bit...I think his friend's name was Nick. I returned home and Uma and Apa had a fight, talked to us "kids" and then left me to rot. Apa took away my keys, told me to drop out of school and find a job to care for myself, and that I couldn't talk to Carlin. I was thinking about suicide, but quickly eradicated that from my mind after I remembered my promise and place on this Earth; with Carlin. At which point I resorted to "leaving". I think I was going to go to the Pigery or some woods around Triboro Plaza (so I could get to school easily), and then eventually walk to Virginia in the summer...and I would have done it, if only my dad didn't regain our relationship by allowing Carlin to finally meet me.

I guess my dad called Carlin, and told him he was sorry that he 'grounded" me off the phone...and that it wasn't his right to keep us from talking. He then came into my room, handed me the phone, and then asked when Carlin had vacation...and if he wanted to come up for a weekend....0_0 HELL FUCKING YEAH! SUCK THESE JAGONS BEETCH!

Carlin is(i use is, because there is no choice..HE IS COMING or else this world will face death!!!j/p but no, really!!!!!) coming to MY house, for a FULL weekend, from February 16-18...and maybe until the 19th (which is our 3rd month Anniversary!!!!) How shit fucking spun is that phunk y0?! Mah god, I couldn't stop smiling all last night, and even now as I'm thinking about it again, like all day and aoghaoiuweaoisndoauhewouahsd is what my mind is doing...along with a big fat fucking ^____SMILE_____^!!! Dad said he could stay at our place and we'd feed him and everything, Who is Daddy?...and welcome, please make yourself comfortable and STAY! God I love Carlin so much. I have so much hope in us. So much faith, love and trust...Stronger than that of any lovers' out there.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Today, I went to school late because I did not get any of my work done resulting of last night. I talked to Carlin-boo-boo for a wittuh, and then shimmied in tha shower/car/across-the-damn-service-termination-bridge/school. Did some work, had gym for the first time in a long time...I benand then told Michellie Shrooms about Carlin coming down (even though I wasn't supposed to but Carlin didn't mind anywhoo because he did tooooo_) and we made tentative plans for that Saturday to go out on a double date...Vinni Shroomies Scawtie and Carlin-boo ^_^. AwwWwWwwwww jyerrr. Also, I drove too the post office after school around 14:00 to send out Carlin's pictures that I took with the Deviwaste, and the note I wrote over the past two days, complete with Vinni House Map, Tehe!

Tonight, Carlin and I conversed, prayed for snow days, master.debated, talked like lovers Do..and then he fell asleep on me. I recorded him talking to me in his sleep. "Where were you on your first...yeah...aww...bnaksjdh I'm peeing aqyart...eyahhh...beatiful...i love you too...i can't wait...til i can come see you...yeah baby?...NnnNNNnnope...YyYyyeahp." aww I lover him sooo, the last words he said to me while he was still awake was "Baby don't leave me."...but then our phones got disconected somehow, I think his battery died because I tried calling back and it went straight to voicemail :[ awww well. Hopefully we have a snow day manana!!! or at least him...he needs to catch some zz's because he hasnt been feeling well lately. I'll pray for him tonight ^_^

----------------------------------------------------------------------------


CDubey22: i love you with everything i am and everything i ever will be beautiful

This is what I am living for. Carlin, 3 months has built us an eternity of Solace Together. I love you. Carlin, I LOVE YOU.


So now I'll go dream, of that Solace.
See you in two {weeks}.
<3 Always, your VinniBean.
Vanessa ^_^

So after February break, I'm going to be volunteering at Hasbro and going back to Taekwondo. I'll only have 2days/week off now vs. everyday off...MAJOR FREAKIN' CHANGE. I'm going to miss talking to Carlin all the time >_< But I need to do this for college; and it is really important to me. God, I hate hefty choices like these. I just wish Carlin and I were so much closer and could physically support each other, and just have a normal relationship. I'm hoping that this won't tire me out to a point where I just 'break'-NAWW. I won't let it. I've only got a short time on this Earth and I'm going to make use of it.

<3 Vanessa

tehe, this muscle relaxtion is makin' me Happy ^_-
I feel like Spaghetti. WRIGGLE WITH ME!

Current Mood: Drugged

Today is a new day, I can feel it pulsating throughout my veins.

Everything has been made clear to me this night. I Love Carlin Lawrence Gordon. For these past two months I've done nothing but smile, ache, tear, laugh, fly, and feel loved. Our relationship is far from the ordinary...which has its flaws; but it's held together by this incredible feeling that no soul will ever understand. Love and acceptance from a man whom I've never met, nor see, 700 miles away. I now understand why long distance relationships seldom last: Desire that is never satisfied. I long to hold him, carress his soft lips and tell him how much I love him. I dream of meeting him for the first time almost every night. The lack of physical attention lead to us talking literally 24/7, isolating us from reality. As much as I would love to spend hour upon hour just talking to him, I have responsiblities, and a social life. Which left me with a decision: Continue the relationship and hardship, or lose the love of my life and regain my "friends" for shoulders to cry on?

I am without a doubt, the luckiest girl to have someone who listens, and understands my situation. This person so happens to be the Love of my life. Carlin and I reinstated a balance between Us and reality. Yet, I will still dream about the day I can walk with him down our path of life. We will be together soon, forever. I love you Carlin. Words will never be able to describe this instensity I have for you. So, I will show you one day...

Vanessa Lee.
Someday We Will Fly Away_

Current Location: VinniRoom
Current Mood: Loved.
Current Music: Carlin ZZZ's